I cannot afford to smoke, drink, or go out for coffee. I cannot afford to rent a movie, buy paints or brushes. I can’t afford to replace my computer, my camera or fix my teeth. I cannot afford to buy a car or go to school, or travel. I cannot afford to become the person I want to be… I can’t afford to be happy and so I’m feeling hopeless and depressed. I cannot afford to stay here, and so what? I pack my things and return to the bush?
This isn’t working! Even if I get into school it will be completely impractical! I need money, not debt. I understand that I will be a slave to debt till I die, but I need a good job so I can buy a house, on my own. I want to be alone.
It seems that every time I start to get ahead stupid shit gets in the way. All the unexpected expenses are getting outrageous. Why have many items of food doubled in price this last year? I don’t have the luxury of even having a plot of land to grow fucking potatoes! I really truly hate my life.
I haven’t smoked in 3 days and I haven’t eaten in two and I have an undetermined infection causing nausea, vomiting, serious pain when I urinate and aching stomach and in general. It doesn’t help that I keep bawling and no one can make me feel any better.
I’m looking into cybf.ca for help. I know being proactive about my ‘woah is me’-style situation is the best solution. Now I nap/sleep
